If life's not beautiful without the pain,

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 19:32:49 GMT

so last night with the ladies was, well, fun as always. keg stands, flip cup.....and somehow i earned the nickname "paris" which i actually think is better suited for amy, because her phone is constantly blowing up....but ill take it for what i can

tonights gonna be a blast, i made my dad pick up a case of red bull for tammys, i had no freakin clue that a 24 pack of red bull is 32$

btw, mer is still not entirely sober, and to be honest, i wasnt even that drunk last night.....but tonight, oh tonight will be the return of rowdy, piss drunk, unable to compose proper and comprehend-able sentences....oh yes, glorious it will be

for now though, im gonna go back to bed and chill out until this hang over goes away, or its time to get crunk

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 20:28:57 GMT

thanks to the ladies last night who did all they could....yall know me entirely too well, and you know how to get me out of those bleh moods that i often find myself in, so thank you, i love you guys....and for now on mer will be much happier, ill be more myself than i have been lately, but thanks for putting up with my bullshit

i just realized i leave for school in a week....its gonna be sad, but for some reason the timing seems absolutely perfect, school is less my scholastic hideaway, than it is my safety zone...sounds funny, but its true, there nothing is expected of me, i answer only to myself....and when it hurts, when it seems like life has given up on me....well someone, or something suddenly appears and shows me that its gonna be ok, in a way, i cant wait to go back

honestly, i think im gonna see about moving this summer, i want to see if amanda wants to get an apartment, somewhere, anywhere but here

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 20:13:17 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHAEL!!!! :)

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:17:35 GMT

guys, for now on....my lj is gonna have to be friends only, because of some seriously fucked up shit one of my supposed best friends has done in response to a post...and the content of said post....so yeah

grab life by the ball....

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 19:12:41 GMT

so, overslept this morning, i was going to get up around 7, study for my final at 10:30, def didnt wake up till 10....so be it. took my final, got back my case study paper on islam in politics....didnt even understand the damn thing, wrote a 4 page paper on it, and ended up with a 100. got back my thesis, got a freakin C on that, not content in the least, needless to say my mom told me to call her this morning when i got it back and every other word in that conversation was "fuck." he said i had severe writing problems....im sorry to sound like an arrogant asshole, but i would write his ass under the table...

came back, called jess, went to the cin bear for lunch, then to wal mart and got some new movies, since i havent indulged in quite some time. bought my dad "dodgeball" since he laughed his ass off at that movie, bought my sister the adam sandler set of "happy gilmore" and "billy madison" and then i bought myself "rules of attraction"

that was my last lunch with jess for the year, fucking tragic.

now i have to actually start on my shit, i need to pack my entire closet, since i never know what to bring....i mean seriously, i brought like 3 bags to london this summer, i MUST clean, bc my room is dusty as hell....

ive also discovered something about myself in the past few days....everytime something gets rough, or i get down, i reach for that fucking substance, last night mark and i were talking about it...and it ends up were gonna get back into it tonight. the thing is, the morning after i wake up feeling like shit, i cant move, i cant even talk really, and then i say "ill never do it again" and 2 weeks later im back at it....i really feel like i should see a counselor about it, jess saw one and she kicked it, my problem is that i like it so much, and that im almost in a way afraid to stop, when your on it, the things that are great in your life are a million times better, and that which sucks doesnt even matter...it doesnt exist....

im so fucking ambivalent, i dont even think i care anymore, because i cant put up with shit...its just not how i was raised, you say one thing, you stick by it, you dont go jumping around from one concept to another....

fuck it, ill be home tomorrow...just in time for cocktail hour....

i shall drive my chariot down you streets and cry "hey its me im a dynamite and i dont know why"

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 05:02:16 GMT

so for the first time this week, i think im ready...i havent really studied for that long, i mean since.....7ish, with a few breaks here and there, but seriously, my brain is freakin mush, and without sleep its just going to be a continual process of dimentia.

took a brilliant nap this afternoon, after i finished watching love actually, of course. man, ive seen that movie entirely too many times, i can almost recite the parts of the portuguese woman, in portuguese...thats freakin scary.

so tomorrow at 10:30, i start my last final, which will be over and completed by 11:30, then i get to pick up my 395 paper. emily got a C, mike also got a C, i swear to god if i didnt at least get a B+ im gonna be so mad....em did her book review on my paper, and she ims me today, "dude your paper was good, stop fretting" hahah, i love that girl.

tomorrows agenda is calling for a little pre-final library fun, final, lunch with jess, finding some salon that sells artec shampoo....that shit is impossible to find up here, cleaning my room, packing, and ironing my clothes for thursday....oh and get entirely too wasted to function, thats always important

i gathered up all the papers i had from this semester....i literally filled a garbage bag, no i understand why i went through two printer cartridges....insanity my friends

for now, im calling an end to this odd day, very odd indeed....and extremely lax....

round two and im tko

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 17:55:09 GMT

so yeah, that went extremely bad, like horribly bad. put it this way, i fell asleep during the fucking final, during the listening section nonetheless, but i had to laugh about it. then i got up after 45 minutes, went outside, walked around, took a smoke break and then came back in and finished. i love not caring, its almost so bad its good. went to arndts office, turned in my final, and what the fuck do you know? the asshole hasnt finished our papers...so now i have to tread back on campus to pick up that bloody thing. thank you, thank you very much.

returned my books....and i got a wopping $109, thats like unheard of, but those damn history books are expensive man, i mean cmon, they were like $50-$100 a pop, and i had about 7....so i suppose i deserve it. oh and the rad thing is, the rents pay for the books and i get to keep the sell back money, bc theyre cool like that. got an email from pops today actually, and the subject was "WHAT UP" if you can imagine a 6 foot 1 lanky, bald man sitting at his desk contemplating....what do the young kids say? whats jiving? thats my dad, and man does that make me laugh. but the email was so cute....he basically told me to stop being a pussy bc i have one more day. oh thank jesus for that one.

so tomorrow is comparative politics, and i already sold my books back....im trying to fail three consecutive finals, i mean cmon man, three is the magic number.

anyways, im napping all afternoon, its shitty out, and its warm in here...and im tired...and then i have to study, maybe iron my clothes for thursday, clean, go to the salon and buy some fucking shampoo.....fill the car with gas....i mean thank god for that sell back money

meh

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 08:55:32 GMT

ok, so i suck, at life, yes, i know you are all nodding your heads in agreement, well thanks guys!
its fucking 4am, ive had about 8 red bulls, i need to write my 1500 word essay regarding my reaction to my classemates paper regarding japanese-american internment camps on the west coast following the bombing of pearl harbor. im tired, amy just left me, so now im unentertained, mark is asleep, or pretending to be...and i keep listening to the same music over and over....oh and i havent even really studied for spanish and my final is in 6 hours....can we say screwed? i can, and not in the comfortable way either, im talking like in a standard el camino, you know, gear shifter in the way....anyways, you got the idea.

and at this time in the morning, with only 7 hours of sleep in the past 2 days....i swear to christ that my head is going to implode, and my fucking heart is going to jump out of my chest from drinking too much caffeine....

oh princess....whatya doing, whatya doing, whatya doing, whatya doing, whatya doing, whatya doing...i dont know what im doing, ive had too much coffee!

good times, almost as funny as the "ive got asthma" song....wait nevermind, that song aint funny, and i DO have asthma

ive prepared a lecture on why i have to leave

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 02:43:00 GMT

so, jesus, i seriously am worthless as hell. i didnt start on my spanish until 6 something tonight, and im slow when it comes to doing things, as if you cant really tell this already, but whatever. im on page 52 and i need to learn through 200....yes, im a success at failing everything i come into contact with. so be it, truly im concerned about getting my paper back tomorrow, ok concerned is the wrong word...nervous and worried are much more accurate. if i fucked up on this paper, im seriously fucked grade-wise, meaning mer will be put on academic probation, fucking glorious. lets just pray dr arndt saw the beauty in my wordiness, and constant thesaurus use. i talked to ma about that tonight, and she was like "mer, its your fortay, you can write, stop worrying, and go study" whatever, she doesnt understand.

and btw, what the fuck is with everyone being in a shitfaced mood tonight? i cant fucking deal with people sometimes, seriously, im gonna go find some long lost tribe of monks in the swiss alps and live there, if i cant understand them that means i wont have to listen to bitching and whining...thank the fucking lord.

so my sis left me a voicemail today, her best friend is like my sister, and she moved to NC so now i only see her once a year. but, shes coming into town this weekend, and amanda and i are gonna meet her in williamsburg for an eventful afternoon of shopping and hopefully eating, since ive been deprived of pierces for months now.
and mom told me that saturday i have to go find a tree with my dad, thanks mom, thanks for basically looking through my fucking blackberry and finding all the days i wanted to do things on, and scheduling shit for me...i love when you do that.

anyways, i made my roomie so mad tonight, but man, it was fucking hilarious. first off, shes puerto rican and irish...dont ask, not only is her race weird, but her fucking teeth are insane, and yeah, shes a bit odd and extremely arrogant, anyways, i was talking about this girl in spanish class that i fucking hate, since she studders in spanish, and not in english, like man...speech impetiments dont depend on the language, suck it up you pussy...and kerri goes "well shes thinking" and im sitting here, and i say "no way man, shes fucking spanish, she speaks it fluently" and court, the weird one, jives in saying "shes filipino" and i retort, "whatever man, theyre the same thing" kerri laughed and was like "your horrible" and court got all pissy...i felt like saying to her "eat a dick, get some braces, and wash your fucking hair..." but no, i refrained, and thats why im writing it here

ok, now that i look at this, seems like im in a shitfaced mood tonight as well....no more red bull for me, i swear that shit makes me vicious, anyways, i suppose i should settle in for my all nighter, a concept im all too familiar with...

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 20:25:51 GMT

today has been interesting, to say the least. woke up at 7, and was not in least pleased by this, since the pots of coffee i ingested last night seemed to linger and kept me awake. anyways, woke up, my dad called and was like "you awake?" im like "yeah bitch, dont call back" and he fucking starts laughing....so funny, only someone as cool as paul can be in that good of a mood that early in the morning. me on the other hand, headed out the door into the rain, went to chickfila, nearly jumped over the counter to strangle the girl.....heres why

her-dining or flex

me-dining

her-(getting ready to swipe card)-flex right?

me-no ice in the drink please

she fills the cup to the top....goddamn you

her-for here or to go

me-here please

she looks around for the trays, and at this point its been a good 6 minutes and im getting annoyed, so im like...look put it in a bag, please, i can just take it out

needless to say, i think the girl at chickfila hates me....and i think she spit on my biscut, fucking eh

anyways, came back and passed the fuck out, woke up around 1:45....and you know, theres this great pleasure in calling someone the moment you wake up, because you cant wait till nightfall to hear how their day is going....there is something in that voice that just makes me feel like everything is going to be ok, its brilliant

had to make a wal mart run for red bull, $30 later, i got enough for myself and my roomies....well, enough for a pack each ;) and taco bell, may god bless you little chalupa, you have been my savior, you and the entertaining blurbs on the sauce packets....although, if i laughed at your packet while eating your taco and accidentally choked and died, who would be at fault???

alright, i must study for spanish now, so i can take a break later tonight :)

dont get the wrong idea....please!

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 05:42:07 GMT

so, this is what happens at 12:30 in the morning when ive been cooped up inside all day, doing nothing, and im wired from numerous pots of coffee....

and yes, you should all feel bad for amy...for having to listen to this, but then again she told me to write it down, and i dont write

so feel sorry for yourselves for reading it

meRp17: why do genitalia have hair?
meRp17: like honestly
rainXinXathens: ew gross
meRp17: its just gonna get shaved
meRp17: you know?
rainXinXathens: exactly
meRp17: its like god was like here, waste money on razors and wax....and hahaha heres some razor burn to go along with it
meRp17: like wtf was he on?
rainXinXathens: lol
rainXinXathens: HAHAHA
meRp17: seriously
meRp17: and im really really pissed he invented kankles
rainXinXathens: hahahaha
rainXinXathens: dude, youre killing me
meRp17: seriously though
meRp17: have you ever thought about this shit?
rainXinXathens: yeah
meRp17: hahah
meRp17: then you know what i mean
meRp17: and personally, i think he made everyone gay in the beginning, and eventually adam hooked up with jesus and he got pissed
rainXinXathens: lol
rainXinXathens: dude, thats crazy
meRp17: no way man
meRp17: and mary was a whore
meRp17: im telling you
rainXinXathens: lol
meRp17: its so true
meRp17: and honestly, like i mean this serious as hell
meRp17: he got wasted as fuck one night, smoked a few blunts and invented ugly people
meRp17: bc there was no tv, so he had to entertain himself somehow
rainXinXathens: write this down, seriously

i am officially a waste of life...

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 02:54:12 GMT

so i have yet to actually begin studying. not good, i have a stack of papers about 5 inches thick for my final tomorrow, and those are just power point slides, another 6 chapters in the book and probably 100 articles...needless to say, im working on my second cup of coffee in the last 20 minutes, and its gonna be an all night affair. actually i dont mind it, i love being able to go on the porch, look out at the mountains, hear the birds slowly awaken from their slumber with baby chirps here and there, and then suddenly the sun rises and a new day is born. kinda a good feeling.

ok seriously, mer is no longer going to procrastinate, i have that stack of papers to shuffle through, and two monstrous essays to write....yes im totally screwed, totally.....thursday guys, thursday we must hang out, and get...well as my jewish friend (not brandi) calls it....wastey wastey

i need to clean desperately

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 19:31:22 GMT

ive got so much shit to do, but im just sitting here. yes, im worthless, and a waste of life....thank you for that.

im out of red bull, must go to the store and get more....coffee just doesnt suffice.

slept like crap last night, i need to seriously rest up, im gonna attempt to not pull an all nighter this week, since im notorious for those during finals....i need to rest so i can get home in one piece.

science final tomorrow, not looking forward to it, especially not at 8am. worked on my freakin 395 final all day yesterday, got 6 of the 8 essays done, im dreading the last two.

my roomies might come down to vb on friday, stay at the crib and catch the W&M v JMU game that evening....i asked them like "hey if yall wanna go, you can crash at my place" thinking, theres no way theyll go...god im an idiot.

so heres the week....

8am tomorrow...science final

10:30 tuesday....spanish final, 395 final due by 4:00, and i receive my grade on my research paper/thesis

10:30 wednesday....comparative politics final

sometime this week jess and i are going to lunch, i need to drink with rj, play some pool and darts, and of course study...my roomie has this quote up right now, i told her, seriously i am totally game, lets get the hell out of this joint...she laughed

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point. - Jack Handey

man im so out of here....a month of nothing but sleeping, eating, and drinking....sounds like heaven, the only thing that could make it better would be a trip to london and an aston martin

seriously, studying now, and probably burning a shit ton of cds....since some of my friends have absolutely no recollection of what music is...lord, what has the world come to?

interesting evening

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 07:09:34 GMT

so tonight sucked, to be honest, worked on my final all bloody evening, listened to some good music though. talked to an awesome girl, well two actually.....but you know, you get the idea. kerri bought a case, thank jesus, after over 12 hours of final work, one needs a beer.

there was a sorority party next door, we went out for a smoke, and the girls were on the porch, we made fun of them. well....not really, we kinda just laughed bc they were all wasted. then one came up, and introduced herself, she was nice, and she turns to me and goes "you look fun" if that didnt get a laugh i dont know what did. who says that????

had a few beers with boys next door, went through my lib, enjoyable.
went outside, there were a bunch of drunk kids walking on the street, dave our security guard looks at me (holding budweiser) and walks past me says "hello darling, how are you?" hes so cute, i love that guy, he completely protects me from harm. there are people to be trusted....

and on top of it all, i lost a brilliant cd, im so sad.....i miss you "remember two things" you were the best, ill back you up and christmas song, i will miss you dearly.

seriously, ask amy, i almost started crying tonight over this cd....call me petty and stupid, but thats one of the first dmb albums ever, one of the rarest....and one of the best....god im so fucking sad

this is a brilliant form of procrastination

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:56:12 GMT

so ive been sitting at my desk since noon, and i have only finished the most miniscule portion of my 395 final. i still have to make a paper of my sources used for the gigantic paper i wrote this semester...which means its another 8 page paper, compiled of analysis regarding primary and secondary works. god i hate this shit. and on top of that, i have another 3 essays for this final, and ive already written 4.....BAH!

i cant concentrate to save my life....i swear, its the curse....but its alright, i have a permasmile that would light up manhatten.....

so my sister was actually being ridiculously cool on the tele today, she invited me to dinner (on the 17th) with her and several of her sorority sisters....and she said i could stay and drink with them, theyre going to this one place, so that i can actually drink...something shuckers i believe....but needless to say, amanda has never invited me to meet and greet her sisters, that portion of her life has always been seperate from our relationship.....

this day just keeps getting better

the equations of life

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 19:22:56 GMT

so court and i went to cin. bear for lunch, soooooooooo clutch, nothing is better for a hangover than 2 red bulls, a turkey, provolone, and spinach sandwich on cheese bread, and a pack of smokes....

i got a letter from RMH, our local hospital today, about my visit earlier this year....for those who are wondering what happened, i was pretty sick, and was coughing up blood for a few hours....like a ton of blood (think...TB, but not), so i went to the hospital, they listened to my lungs and basically said, youre fine, get the fuck out....and now, i have a $171 bill. this poses a problem, seeing as I HAVE NO BLOODY MONEY!!

i can tell already today is gonna be a shit day, hangover + finals + bills + all the other travesties life has to offer = problems and a crappy day for me

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 15:48:11 GMT

so last night, got all dressed up, bc for some reason ive been liking the feel of it lately. went to 1633, its a house away from me.....so we played pool, frank the tank insisted i get down....which kinda fucked me up. we played this card game thats completely new to me, in fact i think stewart just made it up.....take crazy 8s, but use jacks....and instead of drinking your row, you drink the table....not fun, not fun in the least.....unless you consider being so retardedly wasted you cant move fun. played some pool, since the boys got a really nice pool table. oh....i played darts too now that i think of it....i put so many holes in their wall....bc i suck

today i get to do that history 395 final i have been putting off....that should be interesting. i need to go on campus to the convenience store and use all my dinning dollars....i think i can get a shitload of red bull, oh and i gotta return my books too....man the list of things to do keeps getting longer, and nothing seems to be getting crossed off.

nevertheless, today i will be productive, i mean shit i actually woke up at 8:30, and i just said....meh ill go back to sleep, then woke up at 9:45, then my alarm went off at 10:00 so i finally woke up.

so now im sitting here drinking my coffee, thinking now would be a good time to go back and lay in bed, and watch cartoons....at least until this hangover wears off.....i dont understand why i get them so bad.....i drank a shit ton of water before bed.....alright, im seriously going back to bed, fuck this....

im a chemical stress...

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 21:53:14 GMT

tonight i get to hang out with one of my favorite people in the world, literally, hes from belgium, an hes just amazing. case races and 40 hands with my sexy gay boy from belgie? any better? perhaps, but not by much.

slept all bloody day, since i didnt fall asleep till 4am this morning. amazingly made it to my classes, well my first two, i said fuck it to the latter, it was a mere review anyways. slept through the first one, bc i rule, and my posc prof only made us do evals and turn in our papers...bc as laura said "she wins at life"

i need to find something to wear tonight, actually i need to shower now that i think about it.

meanwhile, i should go to the bank and get some cashola for beer....oh i need to eat too, its gotten bad, lately ive had to remind myself to eat, sleep, and shower.....thats just pathetic, and in a weird way very very disgusting.

im officially finished with my fall 04 classes, and dios mio it feels lovely...because i know that home is only that much closer....

btw, my last final is on wednesday at 10:30, should i come home that day or chill up here? let me know, im so freakin indecisive it scares me

i love and miss you guys, and i wish i were there tonight

and oh after talking with amy, i came to the decision that my beer bong will be making a 4 hour trip home with me for xmas break....i cant deprive him of his duties for a month, its neither fair or proper

dos mas

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 21:44:34 GMT

brandi-you put up with my crap, the emotional (im not fucking emo!!) shit, that nobody else wants to deal with...that in itself is gigantic. you give and give until you have nothing left, and often you expect absolutely nothing in return, its just in your nature to care. you always make me laugh, even when its not funny....ie your jewish....im not letting that one go. youre smart as hell, like it honestly amazes me the shit that comes out of your mouth, and where you learned it, and how you retain it...one of your many talents im envious of. on top of it all, can we say music? music is the key that binds us...for some reason it connects us, its like wires and telephones lines across the country....music allows us to hear one another, though it may not always be clear...the point gets across. on top of everything else, you have a heart of gold, you would do anything for anybody you care about, any day of the week, youve just got so much love to give....youre like a freakin reincarnation of mother teresa....but youve had sex and drink....so youre an updated reincarnation ;) i love you babe...

astrid-the jury is still out on you, no im totally kidding. everytime i talk to you, its a battle of wits, you give me a run for my money and you dont take shit. youre smart as hell, i mean, a lot of the time youre talking over my head, i just nodd and smile to act like i know whats going on. youre hilarious, contrary to the fact that my pea size intellect may not always allow for me to completely comprehend the beauty in your humor, i still know its there. you appreciate the beauty in small things, like art, you take nothing for granted and you see past the outer casing and right into the heart of things and people. altogether, youre just a beautiful person in every way possible

once again, im sober on thirsty thursday, blast you friday classes at 9am

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 04:53:26 GMT

so...i did nothing today, absolutely nothing. went to dinner with maureen to the infamous qdoba, god i love that place. came home and court and ker come in the door with bags and bags of xmas decorations for the lawn....let me tell you, our house looks like a trailer park came into some money, its just that cheesy. i need to sell my books back, i need the money, i figure that and my monthly $50 from grandma will be enough to do the angel tree, my hair, and this other little thing ive been thinking about....

i have an idea, one that i feel is pretty good, but it would be an all day affair...and i dont know if thats plausible. otherwise it would just be typical, and i dont do typical.

thus far....

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 22:54:21 GMT

iamcmalx ive known you for quite some time now, and contrary to the fact most of which ive been 4 hours away, youve always held a spot in my heart. you are by far one of the most talented people ive ever had the pleasure and privelage of meeting. at shannons when you played your new song for me, ill admit i got chills, and silently in my head i said "damn, i never knew that she could sing like that." you dont do anything half-ass, you do everything with passion, determination and dedication, which only proves that in life you will go extremely far. above and beyond that, you have a heart made of solid gold, you find the good in everything, even in places where others would only see the negatives. youre just an overall audacious human being....and for that i love you.

billiejeandavy although ive met you only a handful of times, i could tell theres something there, behind that impish smile, and infectious laugh. you seem to make the best of everything, and on top of it all, you have a smart, witty, wicked sense of humor that only few understand and can enjoy...but i myself absolutely love that. personally, i see how happy you have made cmal, and that alone is just one of the reasons why i, after few meetings, can say you are a fabulous person. on top of it all...you seem to go above and beyond what is necessary to make a newcomer feel welcomed in a crowd...you invite them into your world, open your heart to them, and simply make room....and you seem to be the type of person that would take a bullet for anyone of your friends, an altogether admirable trait, which i only wish more people entertained.

alright, i give up

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 20:56:26 GMT

so ill put this in here, merely as a means for procrastinating starting and ultimately doing these finals....

1. Reply to this post if you want me to tell you how cool you are!

2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why I think you rock my socks.

3. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends a much needed dose of love and adoration!

dude dont do the last one, im getting wicked annoyed seeing this everywhere

im next in line

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 17:51:12 GMT

well technically im not, but my 395 paper is. talked to arndt today after class, he came up to emily and i, as we were casually smoking and chatting about the travesties of 395, and the fact that we actually finished the class (and nobody in our section committed suicide). sound a little over dramatic? well its actually not! so arndt gave me props on my presentation, i ran over in time, but i had so much info what does the man expect? he also said my paper is next in line to be graded...good thing i was nice to him today...mwahahah

went to spanish, god i dread that class...and once again i got yelled at. everyone that sits around me makes a point of asking "why does harllee always pick on you?" i dunno, today i got yelled at for laughing, but man it was hilarious, and the rest of the class thought so too. well im officially done with classes, actual attendance of T/TH classes, and that feels absolutely glorious.

called amy, just to see if she was ok. wanna hear something weird? she called while i was in the shower last night and i called her back, no answer, called her back a few mins later bc i started to worry she was passed out in an alley somewhere....and then on top of that all these horrible thoughts started running through my head, like what if there was an accident...bleh bleh bleh.....so i had to call her this morning, and im sorry for waking you up babe. and btw, your adorable when you wake up in the morning....well, ive never really seen it (bc i was always passed out still....remember bobbys!!!), but you sound just lovely. needless to say, she told me something about her night and i couldnt help but laugh, i feel no sympathy for people sometimes....does that make me a bad person?

so i have got to eat something, for the past 3 days my stomach has been full of nothing but liquids and caffeine....not good, not good in the least. needless to say, i might have to actually prepare a meal tonight, and that could be interesting and perhaps even dangerous.

ahhhhh the outfit for today was a hit, monstrous hit, thank god.......i cant stand looking like shit, which i usually do. fuck wearing crappy jeans and old abercrombie tshirts to class.....but i will say this, im never ever again wearing by stilleto cowboy boots on campus, not comfortable in the least, and bless the girl who needed my parking spot and gave me a ride to my car which was conveniently located in BFE.

talked to mama d today about getting my hair did....since i got it done over fall break i have to pay for it this time, well half anyways, and this poses a bit of a problem, since not only do i need to get it cut but highlighted as well...and we all no mer is broke, so coming up with $80 poses a slight problem....

time for a nap, or maybe i should make lunch and work on the numerous finals i have left...

im sleeping alone, once again...and amy was "dateless" tonight...HINT HINT ;)

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 03:40:01 GMT

soooooo, let me just say today has been one muthefucking long ass day. probably the longest day ill have in a while, contrary to the day i drive home, bc yall know that the trip to VB from here, although a mere 3 hours and some change can feel like forever when all you wanna do is get there.

i worked on my history of early england final, and man o man did that shit kick my ass. it was terribly painful to sit at my desk and write for almost 7 hours, physically, emotionally, and mentally. it took me over three hours to determine the difference between the england of 1485 and the england of 1689, and let me tell you i did a shit job, and that pisses me off, but FUCK IT, its done, its long, repetitive and boring, but eat a dick dr. butt.....

so i just got the most amusing WASTED telephone call from amy, she seriously said "i need you here, your my girl, i need you here" about 20 times...and i couldnt do anything but laugh.....and amy, you know, i would have been there if i could have, i would have driven down for the night to hang out with my favorite person in the world...had i not needed to finish all this work, and give a monstrous presentation at 9:30 in the morning.

so...now i get to shower, thank jesus because i cant stand the wretched stench of myself at the moment, and it makes me wonder how my roomies can....oh wait, one of them showers like once every 5-7 days....nasty eh? well she probably doesnt have a sweating problem

im finally coming down off my red bull high, i seriously drank 4 today, and around 6:30 my stomach went ROAAAAAAAAAAAR since o only fed it ramen today.

tomorrow i get to begin my ginormous final for 395, which is probably gonna take me 6 hours a day over the next few days. does the man not realize that we have other shit to do? and for that....

EAT A DICK DR. BUTT
EAT A DICK DR. ARNDT

and for those of you who want to...
EAT A DICK

i am a visitor here, i am not permanent

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 18:55:23 GMT

bah! so i basically consider today to be my last day of MWF classes....bc i rule. this is the remainder of my week....present my paper on kent state to the class with my banging power point, then spanish is basically a review for our final, friday; 2 more presentations to endure in my 383 class (england) and i have to turn in my final, then the last lecture for comparative politics and turning in my reflection on our required case study, and for science, i believe its solely a review for our final. great....then finals begin

so today wasnt too shabby, its windy as hell though, seriously i got out of my car this morning and nearly fell over because its so bad here. so be it. went to wal-mart to restock the fridge with red bull....i never realized how pricey that shit is...i coulda bought a movie for the price of 3 packs. so for the remainder of the afternoon i get to finish out what i began yesterday....i started my case study paper, only one more graph to go, then i have to redo my history final bc i apparently did it wrong (i love when profs dont clarify what they mean, after giving you a broad question)...then perhaps starting the mountain of work also known as my history 395 final.

so tonight is tropicana night, and i cant go....fuck it all to hell, and i might not be back for next weeks, although my last final is on wednesday....i should just probably stay here and get fucked up, bc by the end of christmas break im gonna go insane, bc i cant stay in one place too long.

and amy, i expect an inebriated telephone call from you this evening....if i cant be there in person, i better at least hear you